Mr But and his football team

Anybody who has met my friend But will know that he is mad about football. He plays every day, and is a staunch supporter of Manchester United and Real Madrid. Now that he is spending a few months back in his home village in Krabi province, he has entered the big time - he has set up his own team!

A few days ago he told me that he was going to enter a team into a competition in his district. His two brothers, his friends and some stragglers would make up the 10 players he needed. They did not have a name yet, but that wasn't important, what they really needed was sponsorship.

Let me explain the financial implications of having a team. The most important thing is to be able to afford the kit, i.e. a new jersey and pair of shorts. They don't design a new jersey; they just take one of the existing club jerseys (i.e., Man U or Liverpool) and put their own branding and sponsors' names on it. The cost of a set of 10 jerseys (with the new branding) is 2900 baht in Krabi (that's around R700). Then it costs 1000 (R225) baht to enter a competition. This money is pooled and goes towards the prize money and the organisational costs.

Then there is a deposit of 500 baht (R110). Very cleverly, a set amount is deducted from this deposit every time the team receives a yellow or red card. This definitely encourages clean play, as the financial implications are immediate and affect the whole team. Whatever money is left from the deposit goes towards a team party after the tournament.

So the total cost of setting a team up for a competition is about 4400 baht, just over R1000. Not too bad, really. And the sponsor of the kit gets naming rights to the front of the jersey, with the back going to whoever puts up the entry fee and deposit. So you can get a team in Real Madrid jerseys with Golden Glow Hair Salon on the back of their jerseys, and Krabi Panelbeaters on the front.

Many of the sponsors in Phuket are bars where the players or their girlfriends work, so it's not unusual to have a team sponsored by Little Miss Cute Gogo Bar.

Anyway, by the time Mr But got around to looking for sponsors the three or so businesses in his district that could afford such an expense had already been snapped up. Of course, he turned to me, with the enticing prospect of having my name on the jersey. Can you imagine it: "Peter's Team" on the front and "Hello South Africa" or "The Expat Club" on the back? Our bar once sponsored a team he was playing in - The Star Bar Team. But, sadly, my budget didn't stretch to it this month.

All he needed at this stage was 1000 baht to secure the jerseys. What could he do? Certainly his family and friends do not have a spare 1000 baht floating around, so he decided to pawn his cell phone to secure the jerseys (Newcastle United colours this time) with their unique branding. The cell phone will be reclaimed and the other costs paid off at the end of the month when everyone is flush again. And that's how he has managed to set up his own team.

But's team will be in action on November 3 and 4, so I will no doubt travel to his village in Krabi for the big event (3 hours away). Hopefully, I will get pics of the momentous event, which will take place at the local school fields. Mr But will be a big shot. There will be a big turnout, with everyone from the surrounding villages supporting the local lads. And, of course, But's team will have a visiting superstar - a fat foreigner parked alongside the field in an air-conditioned Toyota pick-up. Wouldn't you just love to be there?