The sad tale of my slip-slop

The heavy rain over Phuket this week has claimed its latest victim: one of my slip-slops. It happened on Saturday morning when I arrived at the airport to catch a flight to Chiang Mai. I parked my pick-up and then prepared to heave myself out of the cab. I always take off my slip-slops when driving (for obvious reasons), so the first thing I do is throw them down onto the tarmac and then wriggle into them. I noticed a little pool of water, but thought nothing of it. But just I threw put down my first slip-slop a torrent of water flowed out from under my car and swept it away.

I leapt out and tried to find it under the surrounding cars, but my beloved right slip-slop was gone. Now this may not sound like a big thing; But, in my life, this is a MAJOR disaster. You can't begin to imagine what a saga my slip-slops have been over the years. I wear a size 15, most Thais are size 5 or 6. So the chances of buying a pair here are beyond zero. So I have to import them from South Africa. However, its not that easy finding them in SA in the first place.

My latest pair came all the way from Port Alfred last year. My friend, Gary Timm, who is teaching in Taiwan, noticed the perilous state of my footwear while he was on holiday in Phuket. So he called on his mother in Port Alfred to help out. Bless her, Marj ordered a pair from the factory in Port Elizabeth and then, at great cost posted them to me in Phuket. They have served me splendidly, but, sadly, no more.

Amazingly, I had a weatherbeaten old pair in my suitcase, which saved the day. So for a week, I will be stepping out in Chiang Mai in most insubstantial footwear. Of course, I didn't bother to bring along any other shoes. I am tip-toeing around and treading very lightly, but if the worst happens and they fall apart, I may be arriving back at Phuket Airport barefoot. What a sight! Perhaps I could bind my feet in rags, like some ancient cave dweller.

My slip-slops have been an endless source of amazement and entertainment to many of the Thais I have met. They are agog when they see them and I can't tell you how many times I have slipped them off for some pint-size Thai to try on. They march around in the big flapping rubber soles, to the great amusement of their friends. They always equate them with a "boat", and often put both feet onto one and make paddling motions. Many have asked me to give them an old pair, but I usually wear them until they are totally shredded.

So, now the search starts for a new pair. My sister-in-law, Jenny, often comes up with a pair for Christmas (hint, hint), and my friend Marianna Smit is an ace at tracking down pairs at the Oriental Plaza in Johannesburg. And there's Marj in Port Alfred. It seems the Gods have signalled that I should go home for Christmas this year. So, if you spot a size 15 or 14 or even 13 pair of slip-slops in a shop somewhere, grab them. I will be grateful for life.

Our wonderful Miss Phuket

Have you ever seen anything like it in your life? Clearly, the monk in the picture hasn't. But the self-appointed Miss Phuket is one of a kind. You've just got to admire her. Once or twice a month she dresses up in her beauty queen regalia and strides up and down the beachfront waving to the crowds. The tourists are left open-mouthed, while the expats and the Thais have a good giggle.

She lives in Patong Beach and loiters in the Paradise area, where I used to live. No-one seems to know much about her, but there are plenty of stories. Some say she is rich and married to a foreigner and dresses up for fun, while others claim she is a bag lady, lives on the street, begs for a living and is quite 'ting-tong' (the Thai word for mad). One thing is for sure, she is no beauty.

I used to see her daily when I lived in Patong, now I run into her when I stop off at one of my favourite hangouts, Coffee World, opposite the Royal Paradise Hotel. Miss Phuket usually passes by at about 5pm. She shuffles along, carrying who-knows-what in plastic bags and often sits down on a little wall bordering a fountain for a rest. Most days she is in normal clothes. Mind you, she is always quite well dressed and the make-up is laid on thick.

But when she is in her Miss Phuket outfit, her personality changes and she strides regally down the pavement, with everyone scrambling out of her way. Her only friend seems to be a male cross-dresser who hangs out near the fountain. He is also quite a character. He is enormous, but wears skimpy tops that show his bulging belly and tiny mini-skirts. I used to think he was a woman, and was quite shocked to hear from my Thai friends that that he was a lady-boy, as they are usually tarted up to the nines.

Anyway, back to Miss Phuket. The story goes that her finest hour came two years back when the Miss Universe contestants were ferried into town for a photo shoot on the beach. The contest was being held in Bangkok. But seeing Phuket was desperate to dispel the negative images of the tsunami disaster, it was decided that pictures of the world's beauties prancing around on the golden sand would be a great idea. It would get the message across that the island was still a tropical paradise. All was going well, the girls were in their bikinis getting ready to pose for the photographers when guess who appeared from one of the alleys off the beach? Yes, our wonderful Miss Phuket! She had heard that the beauty queens were in town and she was not going to be denied her moment of glory.

For the organisers and Thailand tourism officials, it was a nightmare. As hard as they tried to get rid of her, the more determined she became to be part of the photographic event. This was her beach, after all. Of course, the girls were fascinated by this strange lady and the photographers had a field day snapping her with the real beauties. I wasn't there to witness this sideshow, but I believe the police were eventually called in to help her on her way. Well, good on the old gal, she turned a dull photo shoot into a real spectacle!

I have only witnessed one mini-drama involving the island's beauty mascot. One day as she was sitting at her normal spot on the fountain wall, one of the workers from the flea market nearby greeted her in Thai, referring to her as 'Auntie'. She was enraged. Jumping up, she started screaming blue murder and threatening him with all sorts of bodily harm. While the foreigners were all perplexed at this outburst, the flea market traders were hysterical. Clearly, she was nobody's 'Auntie' - she was a young beauty queen!

The next day she was back, looking out for the offensive worker. But to our disappointment - and hers, I'm sure - he wasn't around that day. After waiting for about an hour, she gathered all her bags and prepared to leave. Then, one of the guys working at an open-air seafood restaurant across the road yelled out: "Goodbye, Auntie". To our delight, she exploded again, hurling abuse at him across the traffic. She made our day.

So, please, the next time you are in Phuket, spend a few minutes in the Paradise flea market, which opens at around 4pm, and see if you can spot the 'young lady'. She is a real treat and one of Phuket's really special residents. Long may she reign!

The SA flag flies proudly in Thailand

2007 Rugby World Cup Final: South Africa 15 England 6

Yes, we won. What a wonderful night for all South Africans! I sat on the edge of my bed, draped in a white sheet, and watched every single minute on TV. It wasn't a beautiful game, and the last three minutes were the best. As the clock ticked down, I could finally heave a sigh of relief and celebrate by myself in my apartment. At 4am, mind you. I will admit that tears streamed down my cheeks as I watched the team lift the trophy. I had my SA flag flying from my balcony. I'm sure very few Thais thought anything of it - but I am sure it irritated my English neighbour!

I found watching the whole spectacle from a distance fascinating. The SA story is certainly an uplifting one - seeing Thabo Mbeki hugging the players, seeing the easy cameraderie between the players of different races, watching Nelson Mandela making his appearance at Montecasino, the excellent TV adverts... For once, it seemed the nation was finally united and one had a glimpse of what SA could be. It was a wonderful sight.

I couldn't wait for the Sunday Times to publish their front page on the web. As you can see on the right, they did a pretty good job. It captures the mood perfectly. I was also impressed by the Sasol adverts on TV, especially the World Champ ad that run shortly after the game (great faith, guys!) I thought the oversized Absa branding on the balcony that Madiba appeared on at Montecasino was less tasteful (and I was glad to see that footage used on the BBC and other channels made sure it was not visible).

But let's not gripe about anything. This is our day. Let's enjoy the victory and thank the boys in green and gold for making us all very, very proud to come from the tip of Africa.

World Cup fever!

Even though I am thousands of kilometres away, I can feel the World Cup fever building in South Africa. I would love to be there this weekend, just to enjoy the anticipation and the positive energy that must be flying around. And, of course, with that comes the fun. The Sunday Times secretary, Sandy, sent me this great pic on the left. If you don't understand Afrikaans, here is a rough translation: "Lovie, don't worry. I am at the rugby. Next week I will bring you the bread and milk and World Cup."

I had a good laugh. It's so South African! England and the English fans will be at the receiving end of many, many jokes in the next 48 hours. At least, unlike the Aussies, they can take it...

Here's one of the many jokes:

A little girl was sitting in her classroom in England when her teacher walked in and started talking about how proud she is to be English and how wonderful it is to be an England supporter. The teacher then asked everyone who supported England to put up their hand. Every hand in the class besides one went up. This surprised the teacher and so she asked the little girl why her hand wasn't up.

"Well," said the little girl, "because I don’t support England ."

Even more surprised, the teacher asked her who she supported. "I support the Springboks", she replied. Now a bit irritated, the teacher asked the little girl why she supported the Springboks. "My mom supports the Springboks, and my dad supports the Springboks, so I support the Springboks." The teacher looked at the little girl and with a smirk asked: "Well, if your mom was an idiot and your dad was an idiot, what would you be?"

The little girl looked up at her teacher, smiled and replied:

"An England supporter!"

Here's another one:

A group of England rugby fans die and - finally taking to heart the advice given to them by Springbok supporters - to go to hell.
The devil notices that they're looking rather happier than they should be, and asks why. They explain, "Compared to the English weather, we're enjoying the warmth."
So the devil thinks: "I'll fix them," and cranks up the heat. But the Poms just take off their shirts and drink even more lager than usual. "When the weather gets this good in England we can't bear to waste it," one says.
The devil decides to wipe the smile off their faces and turning the heat down to well below zero, but returns to find the Pom fans singing, "Swing low, sweet chariot" and partying with all their might.
Confused, he demands an explanation.
"If hell is freezing over, it must mean we're going to win the Rugby World Cup Final on Saturday."

Well. I will be ready with my braai at 2am on Sunday morning here in Phuket. I know that all of you will be joining me to moan and shout our way through 80 minutes of hell. I just hope we are smiling at the end....

Veggies and blood on the streets

It's the time of the year when Phuket goes veggie crazy. For nine days, most of the island takes part in the annual Vegetarian Festival. This year it runs until Friday 19 October. The festival started off as a Chinese religious celebration, but the Thais have embraced it and the odd farang (foreigner) also gets into the act. Of course, it also draws a significant number of tourists these days.

For the duration of the festival, participants wear white clothing, only eat vegetarian food, abstain from sex and alcohol and attend temple festivals. However, if you're imagining passive animal-loving people all happily chomping away on legumes and roots, you'd be mighty mistaken. The real drama of the festival is the blood and gore generated by the body-piercing and other amazing feats.

This is where you can see a man sticking a huge dagger through his cheek - or a knife through his tongue. Participants, who are ostensibly possessed by gods, pierce their bodies with metal spikes and rings. Going into a trance, they also climb ladders with rungs of sharp blades and walk barefoot across beds of burning coals. The belief is that the Chinese gods will protect such persons from harm. They apparently feel no pain and show little or no sign of real injury. I'm not so sure - but everyone does seem to have great fun. And the blood shows up beautifully on the white outfits.

It is a huge hit. The streets of Phuket Town, in the centre of the island, are packed with people celebrating this bizarre event. The traffic is a nightmare. In every town and village yellow flags indicate where vegetarian food is available. The dishes are not expensive and apparently they are very tasty. Some of them look just like meat dishes, but are made from tofu and protein substitutes. The best food is on offer at the six Chinese temples.

So, do you think I am participating in this glorious event? Not a chance. In fact, I am not eating a single vegetable this week, as I am back on my high proten diet. Strangely, last month I ate only fruit and vegetables for 24 days, but the weight loss was too slow for my liking. Of course, I may have overdone the rice and the pasta during my vegetarian fling. So, its back to meat, chicken and eggs for me.

The rebel in me delights in sitting down to a plate of lamb chops or devouring a chicken when everyone else is eating cauliflower curry. And I won't be expected to walk around with a pair of scissors through my nose either. Sorry, I don't mean to be cynical and supercilious. It really is a very interesting event and one of the nicest times to be in Phuket. Why don't you come out and see it for yourself next year?

Mr But and his football team

Anybody who has met my friend But will know that he is mad about football. He plays every day, and is a staunch supporter of Manchester United and Real Madrid. Now that he is spending a few months back in his home village in Krabi province, he has entered the big time - he has set up his own team!

A few days ago he told me that he was going to enter a team into a competition in his district. His two brothers, his friends and some stragglers would make up the 10 players he needed. They did not have a name yet, but that wasn't important, what they really needed was sponsorship.

Let me explain the financial implications of having a team. The most important thing is to be able to afford the kit, i.e. a new jersey and pair of shorts. They don't design a new jersey; they just take one of the existing club jerseys (i.e., Man U or Liverpool) and put their own branding and sponsors' names on it. The cost of a set of 10 jerseys (with the new branding) is 2900 baht in Krabi (that's around R700). Then it costs 1000 (R225) baht to enter a competition. This money is pooled and goes towards the prize money and the organisational costs.

Then there is a deposit of 500 baht (R110). Very cleverly, a set amount is deducted from this deposit every time the team receives a yellow or red card. This definitely encourages clean play, as the financial implications are immediate and affect the whole team. Whatever money is left from the deposit goes towards a team party after the tournament.

So the total cost of setting a team up for a competition is about 4400 baht, just over R1000. Not too bad, really. And the sponsor of the kit gets naming rights to the front of the jersey, with the back going to whoever puts up the entry fee and deposit. So you can get a team in Real Madrid jerseys with Golden Glow Hair Salon on the back of their jerseys, and Krabi Panelbeaters on the front.

Many of the sponsors in Phuket are bars where the players or their girlfriends work, so it's not unusual to have a team sponsored by Little Miss Cute Gogo Bar.

Anyway, by the time Mr But got around to looking for sponsors the three or so businesses in his district that could afford such an expense had already been snapped up. Of course, he turned to me, with the enticing prospect of having my name on the jersey. Can you imagine it: "Peter's Team" on the front and "Hello South Africa" or "The Expat Club" on the back? Our bar once sponsored a team he was playing in - The Star Bar Team. But, sadly, my budget didn't stretch to it this month.

All he needed at this stage was 1000 baht to secure the jerseys. What could he do? Certainly his family and friends do not have a spare 1000 baht floating around, so he decided to pawn his cell phone to secure the jerseys (Newcastle United colours this time) with their unique branding. The cell phone will be reclaimed and the other costs paid off at the end of the month when everyone is flush again. And that's how he has managed to set up his own team.

But's team will be in action on November 3 and 4, so I will no doubt travel to his village in Krabi for the big event (3 hours away). Hopefully, I will get pics of the momentous event, which will take place at the local school fields. Mr But will be a big shot. There will be a big turnout, with everyone from the surrounding villages supporting the local lads. And, of course, But's team will have a visiting superstar - a fat foreigner parked alongside the field in an air-conditioned Toyota pick-up. Wouldn't you just love to be there?

Rugby, rugby and more rugby

I have square eyes this morning. My whole weekend was taken up with the televised coverage of the Rugby World Cup. I know that all my friends back home would have been doing the same thing, but its a bit different out here when the games only start at 2am. And there's bugger-all biltong and no-one to rustle up a good braai in the backyard.

But I persevered. Not only did I watch the England-France game on Saturday night (well, Sunday morning) and the SA-Argentina game on Sunday night (Monday morning here), but I also managed to fit in the two Currie Cup semi-finals from South Africa. To celebrate this overdose of rugby, I went out and bought some lamb chops and burger patties (imported from Australia), so that I could try to keep up the braai tradition.

Well, if the 'manne from Loftus' could have seen my braai attempts, they would have burnt me at the stake. Although it felt good eating an Australian, it wasn't quite the same as back home. Where are my brothers when I need them? I did end up eating some grilled meat roasted to death on an electric grill that threatens to explode every few minutes, but it was touch and go all the way.

Seeing SA won their way into the World Cup Finals, you may think I enjoyed my television marathon. I can't say I did, my nerves couldn't take it. In the Sharks-Lions game, I wanted the Sharks to win. They lost. In the Cheetahs-Blue Bulls match, I was backing the Cheetahs. They won, but it was a really scrappy affair in the rain. Not great viewing.

And then onto the World Cup. I was speaking to my brother Chris, who is in Paris for the rugby, and we both agreed that the worst outcome would be South Africa losing to England in the finals. We both said we would rather lose to the Pumas in the semis than get to the final and lose to the Poms. Of course, despite my strong support, the French went and lost their damn semi-final. Trust them to let us down, especially after they slaughtered those damn New Zealanders.

I woke up at 2am to see the Boks playing (seeing it was a working day), but I could barely watch . I think I am getting too old to sit and watch a big game - my nerves can't handle it. So, I sat working at my laptop, occasionally sneaking a glance at the screen. Never mind the fact that we were always way ahead on points, I still had a terrible feeling we were going to lose. The fact is that the only time I really felt happy was when the final whistle went. That's no way for a sportslover to behave, is it?

Goodness knows how I will feel during the big game next Saturday. My only hope is that M-Net Supersport disappears from the cheap cable channel I subscribe to (we often lose channels without any notice). I think it would be far better overall not being able to see the game. Then I can sit and wait for the SA news websites to update me on the score or check out BBC-sport on the Internet. That way I won't feel the pain too badly if things go wrong.

However, I guess I will probably be in front of the TV glued to the screen, shouting instructions at the ref and the players. I wonder what the hell my neighbour thinks is going on. This is Thailand, so when he hears 'Up and under, you fool' or 'Get down on em, boys' or 'Swing it now', he may well imagine some really exciting goings-on. Well, good luck to him.

So, think of me sitting on the edge of my bed, wrapped in a white sheet, scowling at the screen. Let's just hope the Boks bring home the Cup. We deserve no less.

Questions and Answers

How did you end up in Phuket?

I came here on holiday. When the holidays started becoming more frequent, I started thinking that it might be a good idea to stay here for an extended period. I moved here for three months, then went back to South Africa for six months to make up my mind. Finally in October of 2002, I packed up my bags and moved to Thailand.

Do you ever regret it?

NEVER. I am happy and content - and what more could one ask for? Thailand is a wonderful, wonderful country and the Thai people are something special. Living on this island is like living a dream. I love it

Do you miss anything?

Of course. I miss my family and friends, but luckily many of them have been to visit. At times, when I catch Supersport or M-Net on TV I feel a little nostalgic. Like many expats, one often needs to talk to people who have a shared history (and understand how you feel about things), and visitors from SA serve that need. However, the thing I miss most is the MEAT. Many times I just ache for a roast leg of lamb or a good braai. The local meat is not great, and the Aussie meat we can buy is really not the same as back home.

Where do you live?

I spent the first five years in Patong Beach, which is the main tourist zone on the island, a crazy town filled with bars, restaurants, massage parlours, markets, etc - its a fantastic place to stay and I had a wonderful time there. But it has got really busy and I felt like a more ordered life, so I have moved to a little townhouse in an area called Chalong, about 20kms from Patong, close to work and some really nice beaches frequented mainly by locals and expats. I guess you could say I have become more of an expat than a 'long-stay holidaymaker' now.

Is it expensive?

Not really. It used to be much cheaper, but the island has developed enormously in the past five years and prices have risen. Also the exchange rate for the Rands I bring in is not good at all. However, when I look at the cost of living in SA, I guess it is about the same now. The rent for my one-bedroom townhouse is 8500 baht (which is around R2000 a month). A meal at a Thai restaurant costs the equivalent of R10, while a meal at a Western restaurant would cost about R70-R100. Cigarettes are about R12 a pack and a bottle of 100 Pipers Whisky about R80. I bought a big Toyota Vigo 4-door bakkie, which cost me 750,000 baht (which was around R120,000 at the time), great value.

Do you work?

Yes, I work for an international Internet hotel booking site, http://www.hoteltravel.com/, where I edit a travel magazine and newsletter which goes out to 400,000 subscribers every month. And I still do my travel column for the Sunday Times every week and other work for Johnnic. The biggest advantage of my job is that I work for three weeks and then have one week off. So I am free to travel around for 9 days a month.

Where do you travel on your week off?

I usually travel in Thailand, to Bangkok (a wonderfully exciting city), Pattaya (the unbelievable coastal resort that must be the sex capital of the world!) or Chiang Mai (a great city in the north of the country). I have been spending more time in Krabi, a coastal resort that is on the mainland across the bay from Phuket. Its relatively undeveloped and has incredible scenery. Its also cheap and relaxing. Of course, I also travel further and have been to Hong Kong, Kuala Lumpur, Singapore, Bali and Sri Lanka.

Didn't you own a bar?

Yes, a friend and I had a bar for a year in Patong, which was crazy fun. The bar was actually very successful and we had a good time. But when the rent was hiked we decided to call it a day. I was quite relieved actually because I don't really want to spend every night of my life in a bar. I don't regret it, though, it was an amazing experience.

So, what's the social life like?

Wonderful. I go to the beach a lot, dine out, have massages and enjoy island life. I spend less time in the gogo bars and the other fun places in Patong and am more than content to sit on the verandah of my friend's guesthouse in Patong and watch the world go by. Now that I live on the other side of the island, I have discovered many really nice places, but they are certainly more laid-back and casual than the places where the tourists go! One of the things I really like about living here is that in many respects it resembles a small town, with a real community feel, but has the facilities of a major city - it certainly runs 24 hours a day and you can find whatever you want anytime!!

Last year you broke your ankle. How's the foot doing now?

What a business that was. I slipped on the pavement as I was walking to my car at 6am - on my way to work! (believe it or not) - and my foot was just at the wrong angle. Luckily my friends here (and the many visitors from SA) took good care of me. I was going to have an operation, but the specialist decided to put my leg in plaster instead. That was a VERY difficult time - no swimming, no proper showers, everything was a struggle. It has taken a long time to heal, but is quite okay now. It will never be the same as it was, but I can walk around quite happily now.
What is the health care like there? Fantastic. We have two top international hospitals on the island. I use the Bangkok Phuket Hospital and the standards are exceptionally high. And its not really expensive. Many tourists come here specifically for medical treatment, like heart surgery and facelifts, etc. Bangkok has one of the top 'medical tourism' hospitals in the world, Bumrungrad Hospital, so I certainly don't worry about health care standards here.

Will you ever go back to live in South Africa?

Well, never say never. However, I think that if I was to move from Thailand, I would probably try out another part of the world. There are just so many other cultures and lifestyles to experience. I need that excitement in my life. Of course, when I am really old I may just yearn to be closer to my family and the other things that make South Africa my home. Until then, I am going to have as much fun as I can.

It's hell choosing a hotel

Once you decide to come to Thailand on holiday, you need to decide on a hotel. Well, you have an incredible choice.

I am often asked to recommend accommodation and give advice for a visit, but that is incredibly difficult. I probably know too much, so the options are endless. And, of course, it depends on your expectations and your budget.

In the holiday resorts, there is a HUGE difference in the prices for low season and high season (November-April). In places like Phuket you will pay at least 100% more... and sometimes up to three or five times the price you can get in the off season. So, be aware, that you won't be able to get any real bargains if you decide to come over the Christmas/New Year period.

As far as I am concerned, the seasonal surcharge is not really warranted. It does rain a little more in the low season and is a little hotter, but this does not justify the big difference in prices. The real reason for the big hike is that European travellers choose to come here during their winter. It's also winter here, but that means perfect weather!

While it will always be more expensive over the Christmas/New Year period, I think that the prices will level off as tourists from Asia and other regions of the world become more important. But, for the moment, the Europeans are paying through the nose to escape their icy winter.

Before you decide to book a hotel, do check out the packages which include hotels and flights. Sometimes you can get great value, although this is unlikely over the peak periods.

As for where to go, I think you should spend no more than three nights in Bangkok and then head for Phuket or Chiang Mai (or any of the other resorts that take your fancy). However, I honestly believe that Phuket is the best destination. It has the best beaches by far - and enough of everything else. It certainly is not over-developed - you will always find a quiet beach if that is what you want. Don't believe travel agents who tell you that it is out of fashion now and full of package tourists, and that you should choose less-developed islands like Koh Samui, Koh Lanta or Koh Chang. That's nonsense - Phuket remains the number one destination because it is still the best. Perhaps the other islands are paying a higher commission to fill their empty rooms. Phuket doesn't need to.

Let's start with hotels in Bangkok. I can only mention a few, so please post a comment below if you want information on a specific hotel you are offered. I know most of them, so will gladly pass on my view. Here are my favourites:

PENINSULA HOTEL - the most fabulous hotel, located on the river and with amazing faciities and service. Has been voted the top hotel in the world and regularly wins the best hotel in Asia. It is expensive, but is great value by international standards and a real treat. Cheaper alternatives are the Shangri-La across the river and the Hilton Millennium. Another good choice for families is the Marriott Riverside. These are all five star hotels and really give you a great feel for the best Bangkok has to offer. You can get a room at the Peninsula for about 250-300 US dollars a night.

SILOM SERENE - a comfortable three-star hotel in the heart of the Silom area, good value and within walking distance of the skytrain and shops, etc.

SIAM HERITAGE - a lovely Thai-style boutique hotel in the Silom-Suriwong area, which has a small pool on the roof and a great atmosphere. Very busy, vibey area, but quite close to the redlight Patpong area but this wont really bother you as you wont venture into that area by mistake! The hotel is an oasis and is really very well located otherwise.

BUDDY LODGE - a great little hotel in the Khao San Road area, which is backpacker territory. However, the hotel is very comfortable, cosmopolitan and safe. Great fun, exciting vibe and a nice introduction to Bangkok.

PATHUMWAN PRINCESS - a really nice luxury chain hotel which is part of a huge shopping complex, MBK and linked to the skytrain. Very good hotel in perfect location for shopping and attractions - and the airconditioned mall offers you the opportunity to shop without even going outside.

THE DAVIS - A luxurious Thai-style hotel in the Sukhumvit shopping area. Lovely rooms and atmosphere and great value for what you get.

If you really want something different, you can stay in the smallest hotel in the world, THE IBRIK RESORT, which is on the river, or THE AURUM, another small boutique hotel on the river. Both are really special, but you may need the facilities that bigger hotels offer for a first visit.

Of course, there are many chain hotels like Holiday Inn, Intercontinental, Hyatt, etc all of which are good, but the ones above have a particularly Thai or Bangkok atmosphere, which makes them particularly attractive.

PHUKET HOTELS
Wow! many choices here as well. The main tourist zone is Patong Beach, which attracts the biggest number of visitors. It also has all the saucy nightlife and the best shopping. It may not seem to be the best resort for children, but plenty of families choose it. I know many people with young families who won't stay anywhere else. They love the buzz of Patong. It is certainly very interesting and exciting, with a huge shopping centre with all the facilities.

The best value resorts here are the HOLIDAY INN (the Busakorn wing is splendid), the PATONG BEACH HOTEL (a good three-star family choice in a perfect location), the GRACELAND PHUKET (big new hotel on the beachfront) and the BURASARI (boutique hotel close to beach, very popular). New hotels opening this season include the MERCURE PATONG (one road back from the beach) and the MILLENIUM PATONG at the big Jungceylon shopping complex, one block from the beach and a great central location).

However, for families, the neighbouring resort areas of KARON BEACH and KATA BEACH are generally considered better (depends who you ask, of course!).

CLUB MED has a magnificent location on Kata Beach. The hotel is of three-star standard, but with acres of space and perfect for the beach. Plenty of facilities for children. However, it is pretty expensive and the meals-included tarriff means that you miss out the chance to eat out at different restaurants every night, which I think is part of the Thailand holiday experience. Hotels close to Club Med include the KATA BEACH RESORT (right on the beach as well) and the CENTARA KATA RESORT (also known as the Central Kata Resort, which is behind Club Med, so you have a a walk to the beach, but the resort is very nice.)

Hotels occupying their own beaches include the LE MERIDIEN PHUKET RESORT (fabulous beach, just over the hill from Patong) and KATHA THANI resort, which is over the hill from Kata beach. Both are considered prime resorts, but rather overpriced in peak season.

KARON BEACH has some lovely hotels all along its magnificent white beach. These include the Hilton (very big), the Movenpick and the Centara Karon Resort (in a lively area one block from beach). A hotel I like very much is THE OLD PHUKET, which is a very traditional Thai hotel close to the beach. Its small and has a lovely atmosphere and super rooms, with a rooftop pool.

It's worth mentioning that Phuket also has an area known as LAGUNA, which is a tropical paradise along Bangtoa Beach. It includes six hotel, including the magnificnet Banyan Tree, the Sheraton and the Dusit Laguna. Great facilities for families and a very safe, manicured environment, but I personally prefer the slightly chaotic atmosphere of the coastal villages like Patong, etc with many restaurants, bars, Thai massage shops and open markets.

However, if you want the biggest bargain on the island, try out the little guesthouse owned by my friend Tanit. Its called Le Tanjong (check out the picture I have posted). It offers the cleanest rooms in Patong, with comfortable double beds, great linen and pillows, air-conditioning, a fridge, a safety box in the room and a hot-water show and toilet. The rooms are not huge, but they are really well maintained and he is a nice guy. It is located in the Paradise area of Patong Beach, which has gay bars on the one side and the lady gogo bars on the other. It's a lively, fun area close to all the shopping and restaurants and within walking distance of the beach. The best thing about it is the rates: In low season a room will cost you about 650 baht (that's about R160) a night and in peak season from 1200-1500 baht (R300-R400). It's fabulous value - and runs at 100% occupancy most of the year.

That's my selection for now. I will be adding to this list and making changes, so do keep coming back to check this posting. And, remember, I am more than happy to help out with information and suggestions. And for no commission!!