Have you ever seen anything like it in your life? Clearly, the monk in the picture hasn't. But the self-appointed Miss Phuket is one of a kind. You've just got to admire her. Once or twice a month she dresses up in her beauty queen regalia and strides up and down the beachfront waving to the crowds. The tourists are left open-mouthed, while the expats and the Thais have a good giggle.
She lives in Patong Beach and loiters in the Paradise area, where I used to live. No-one seems to know much about her, but there are plenty of stories. Some say she is rich and married to a foreigner and dresses up for fun, while others claim she is a bag lady, lives on the street, begs for a living and is quite 'ting-tong' (the Thai word for mad). One thing is for sure, she is no beauty.
I used to see her daily when I lived in Patong, now I run into her when I stop off at one of my favourite hangouts, Coffee World, opposite the Royal Paradise Hotel. Miss Phuket usually passes by at about 5pm. She shuffles along, carrying who-knows-what in plastic bags and often sits down on a little wall bordering a fountain for a rest. Most days she is in normal clothes. Mind you, she is always quite well dressed and the make-up is laid on thick.
But when she is in her Miss Phuket outfit, her personality changes and she strides regally down the pavement, with everyone scrambling out of her way. Her only friend seems to be a male cross-dresser who hangs out near the fountain. He is also quite a character. He is enormous, but wears skimpy tops that show his bulging belly and tiny mini-skirts. I used to think he was a woman, and was quite shocked to hear from my Thai friends that that he was a lady-boy, as they are usually tarted up to the nines.
Anyway, back to Miss Phuket. The story goes that her finest hour came two years back when the Miss Unive
rse contestants were ferried into town for a photo shoot on the beach. The contest was being held in Bangkok. But seeing Phuket was desperate to dispel the negative images of the tsunami disaster, it was decided that pictures of the world's beauties prancing around on the golden sand would be a great idea. It would get the message across that the island was still a tropical paradise. All was going well, the girls were in their bikinis getting ready to pose for the photographers when guess who appeared from one of the alleys off the beach? Yes, our wonderful Miss Phuket! She had heard that the beauty queens were in town and she was not going to be denied her moment of glory.
For the organisers and Thailand tourism officials, it was a nightmare. As hard as they tried to get rid of her, the more determined she became to be part of the photographic event. This was her beach, after all. Of course, the girls were fascinated by this strange lady and the photographers had a field day snapping her with the real beauties. I wasn't there to witness this sideshow, but I believe the police were eventually called in to help her on her way. Well, good on the old gal, she turned a dull photo shoot into a real spectacle!
I have only witnessed one mini-drama involving the island's beauty mascot. One day as she was sitting at her normal spot on the fountain wall, one of the workers from the flea market nearby greeted her in Thai, referring to her as 'Auntie'. She was enraged. Jumping up, she started screaming blue murder and threatening him with all sorts of bodily harm. While the foreigners were all perplexed at this outburst, the flea market traders were hysterical. Clearly, she was nobody's 'Auntie' - she was a young beauty queen!
The next day she was back, looking out for the offensive worker. But to our disappointment - and hers, I'm sure - he wasn't around that day. After waiting for about an hour, she gathered all her bags and prepared to leave. Then, one of the guys working at an open-air seafood restaurant across the road yelled out: "Goodbye, Auntie". To our delight, she exploded again, hurling abuse at him across the traffic. She made our day.
So, please, the next time you are in Phuket, spend a few minutes in the Paradise flea market, which opens at around 4pm, and see if you can spot the 'young lady'. She is a real treat and one of Phuket's really special residents. Long may she reign!
She lives in Patong Beach and loiters in the Paradise area, where I used to live. No-one seems to know much about her, but there are plenty of stories. Some say she is rich and married to a foreigner and dresses up for fun, while others claim she is a bag lady, lives on the street, begs for a living and is quite 'ting-tong' (the Thai word for mad). One thing is for sure, she is no beauty.
I used to see her daily when I lived in Patong, now I run into her when I stop off at one of my favourite hangouts, Coffee World, opposite the Royal Paradise Hotel. Miss Phuket usually passes by at about 5pm. She shuffles along, carrying who-knows-what in plastic bags and often sits down on a little wall bordering a fountain for a rest. Most days she is in normal clothes. Mind you, she is always quite well dressed and the make-up is laid on thick.
But when she is in her Miss Phuket outfit, her personality changes and she strides regally down the pavement, with everyone scrambling out of her way. Her only friend seems to be a male cross-dresser who hangs out near the fountain. He is also quite a character. He is enormous, but wears skimpy tops that show his bulging belly and tiny mini-skirts. I used to think he was a woman, and was quite shocked to hear from my Thai friends that that he was a lady-boy, as they are usually tarted up to the nines.
Anyway, back to Miss Phuket. The story goes that her finest hour came two years back when the Miss Unive
rse contestants were ferried into town for a photo shoot on the beach. The contest was being held in Bangkok. But seeing Phuket was desperate to dispel the negative images of the tsunami disaster, it was decided that pictures of the world's beauties prancing around on the golden sand would be a great idea. It would get the message across that the island was still a tropical paradise. All was going well, the girls were in their bikinis getting ready to pose for the photographers when guess who appeared from one of the alleys off the beach? Yes, our wonderful Miss Phuket! She had heard that the beauty queens were in town and she was not going to be denied her moment of glory.For the organisers and Thailand tourism officials, it was a nightmare. As hard as they tried to get rid of her, the more determined she became to be part of the photographic event. This was her beach, after all. Of course, the girls were fascinated by this strange lady and the photographers had a field day snapping her with the real beauties. I wasn't there to witness this sideshow, but I believe the police were eventually called in to help her on her way. Well, good on the old gal, she turned a dull photo shoot into a real spectacle!
I have only witnessed one mini-drama involving the island's beauty mascot. One day as she was sitting at her normal spot on the fountain wall, one of the workers from the flea market nearby greeted her in Thai, referring to her as 'Auntie'. She was enraged. Jumping up, she started screaming blue murder and threatening him with all sorts of bodily harm. While the foreigners were all perplexed at this outburst, the flea market traders were hysterical. Clearly, she was nobody's 'Auntie' - she was a young beauty queen!The next day she was back, looking out for the offensive worker. But to our disappointment - and hers, I'm sure - he wasn't around that day. After waiting for about an hour, she gathered all her bags and prepared to leave. Then, one of the guys working at an open-air seafood restaurant across the road yelled out: "Goodbye, Auntie". To our delight, she exploded again, hurling abuse at him across the traffic. She made our day.
So, please, the next time you are in Phuket, spend a few minutes in the Paradise flea market, which opens at around 4pm, and see if you can spot the 'young lady'. She is a real treat and one of Phuket's really special residents. Long may she reign!
