We have all heard the stories of foreigners who end up living in rural villages with their Thai brides. Most settle in Isaan, the poorest part of Thailand, where many of the workers in the 'entertainment' industry come from. Here's the scenario: Elderly farang (foreign) man falls in love with young Thai lady in bar, she takes him home to meet her family, he presents gifts to 'mamma' and drinks whisky with pappa and it is decided that the farang will build the family a house and settle in the country. She will be close to her family, he will save money on expensive condo rental in Pattaya or Bangkok and everyone will live happily ever after.Well, not always. Many sad tales have emerged of how the farangs have ended up penniless after being fleeced by wily villagers or how they become disgruntled alcoholics, full of regret for how their lives had changed for the worse. The often-hilarious stories of how farang men fall for sexy Thai women are well documented in countless books, such as No Money No Honey or Private Dancer. However, what is less known is what affect these strange farang have on the women they marry and communities they settle in.
Research into the impact of cross-culutral marriages by Khon Kaen University has come up with some interesting findings. (source: The Nation 17 Nov, 2006) More than 200 Thai woman married to foreigners were interviewed in Khon Kaen, Udon Thani and Roi Et and it was found that traditional Thai food was being replaced by Western staples such as hamburgers and pizzas as the women adopted their husbands culture.While it is often the cry of the farangs that they are "forced" to eat Thai food all the time, the study revealed that Thai wives happily switched to fast foods and European dishes as a symbol of their adjustment to Western culture. Northeastern food, such as the very popular papaya salad known as 'somtam', had gradually disappeared from their diet. As their husbands found it harder to adjust to local food and it was easier to cook once for the whole family, Western food gradually took over.
The survey also found that the wives preferred celebrating Western holidays like Christmas and Valentine's Day compared to traditional Thai holidays such as Songkran and Loy Krathong. Maybe the fact that the Thai ceremonies involve presenting gifts to the temple or making merit, while the Western holidays involve receiving gifts!The head of the study, Asst Prof Supawatanakorn Wongtha-nawasu of the university's Faculty of Nursing, said foreign son-in-laws had caused the community-oriented Northeasterners to become more individualistic and give less attention to social interaction. Wives tried to adjust by becoming "farang" rather than helping their husbands to be more 'Thai'. Thai culture in these families was thus overshadowed by Western culture, with the families' own consent, due to the pride of having foreign sons-in-law, she said.
"In some Khon Kaen villages, with dozens of women marrying farangs, Christmas Day is no different from the movies with real traditional Christmas celebrations, while many Northeastern festivals were forgotten," the academic said.The study found that most Northeastern Thai women married to foreigners were over 30, with an average age of 35, and had education below secondary level. Most wives saw their cross-cultural marriage as turning over a new leaf. The average age of farang husbands was 50, and most came from Germany, Britain and Scandinavia. A fourth of those over 60 had brought their retirement funds to settle down with Thai wives who gave them a sex life and took care of them. Most had an income of around 1500 US dollars a month, but most of their wives didn't know their husband's work or educational background. The wives were mainly interested in whether their husbands had enough money to support the family.
The study also found that Isaan families whose members had married foreigners had changed their views on choosing spouses. From the traditional practice of parents choosing spouses for their children, the decision is now made by the individual and is based mainly on economic security. Some women agreed to marry foreigners they had never met before the wedding day as they felt that if the man had money, the villagers would eventually accept and respect them.With the obvious increase in wealth of wives married to farang, due to their husbands' financial support, some 90 per cent of residents surveyed said they wanted their daughters to marry foreigners, Supawatanakorn said. Some girls told the researchers they were prepared to fly overseas to marry a foreigner when they grew up. Cross-cultural marriages were also supported by the older generation as these couples took care of their own children instead of placing the burden on the grandparents, or could afford nannies.
Somehow, it all seems rather sad that the traditional Thai way of life is being influenced by those who seem to have very little culture in the first place. Believe me, these men are not introducing great literature or classical music to those in the villages they move into!
So, the next time you hear the 'sad' saga of how a paunchy, middle-aged farang had to put up with his moneygrabbing wife and her family, spare a thought for the family that had to put up with him! Without taking time to look in the mirror or think about why even their friends avoid them, some of these men think they are God's gift to their beautiful Thai brides. When they moan about how they had to move out of the home they built because life was intolerable, say a silent prayer that at least the woman got a house out of it. With the old bore out of the way, they can throw out the pictures of Swiss mountains and cuckoo clocks and happily return to a life of somtam and Songkran.
